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I accidentally lit the wrong end of a cigarette-that can`t be healthy!
Here`s an idea...You go away and I`ll stop ignoring you.
Sneaking alcohol into work is pretty easy if you put it in your stomach first.
I`m so bored at work that I`m actually doing my job.
My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
It’s been close to a million years since I exaggerated about anything.
8 more days and I will finally get rid of last years Halloween candy.
I love sleep ... it’s like a Time Machine to Breakfast.
Me? Stalk? No, I just observe... behind a tree... at night…in the rain.
when I`m quiet, strangers look at me and think I`m shy. People who know me think: OMG! he`s thinking! EVERYBODY RUN!
To find out your dolphin name, lick your finger tips and rub a balloon
You say illegal, I say added to my bucket list.
If you can read this, you`re not having sex either.
To be clever can be difficult without caffiene.
They`re having a Jamaican hair-do day tomorrow at work. I`m dreading it.