Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
That awkward moment when you say goodbye to someone and then both walk in the same direction..
Don`t you love followers that don`t acknowledge your existence. Its so cute. Its like I have tiny marriages all over the world.
Most people don`t think I`m as old as I am until they hear me stand up.
When my kids grow up, I`m going to their house to break their stuff, eat all their food, make a huge mess, say I`m bored & then just leave!
If you`re ever held at gun point, just remember, I`m behind you 100%.
Smile. Your enemies hate it.
They keep telling me theres plenty of fish in the sea, but I havent caught one in years, soooo I continue to sit here, holding my rod.
Only a fool trips on what`s behind him.
Why isn`t Wendy`s girl fat? You would think that someone who eats so many Baconators, chicken sandwiches and other burgers, would be quite the porker by now.
I think I have 10 inches of Global Warming on my driveway.
Here`s a fun idea: Before your next party or get together, buy some liver and other cuts of meat. Put them in clear containers and put labels on them with random names ("Clarice", "Richard", etc). Then put them in your refrigerator. For even more fun, put some empty containers beside the fridge with your friends` names on them....
i didn`t know i had a facebook account until now
You shouldn`t be allowed to wear animal print if you are bigger than said animal.
Square box. Round pizza. Triangle slices. I`m Confused.
So, All my exes live in Texas; Exactly, how does one go about scheduling a tornado ?