Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just bought a new pair of sunglasses for whoever finds them in 3 weeks.
Live today like it`s your last!! But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn`t.
You know you`re single when the only calls you get at night are Nature`s.
Maybe Oscar wouldn`t have been so grouchy if the people on Sesame Street cared about the fact that he`s homeless
I don’t want to go to work. There are people there.
I hate that I have to put on clothes to participate in society.
My wife was out of town, so I had to run the morning routine by myself today. I learned a lot. For example, apparently I have two kids.
I`d do anything to lose 20lbs. Well, except for eating healthy or working out.
I remember when going viral meant having to tell several people they better get tested.
The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.
Well after 6 months of my girlfriend nagging, I finally did it, I lost 120lbs ... I`m sure gonna miss her.
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
I have a drinking problem. When I tilt my head back to take a drink, I can’t see my computer screen.
My memory foam has amnesia
Nothing says " My divorce didn`t go as planned " quite like the guy with grocery bags hanging on the sides of his bicycles handlebars