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Super Bowl Sunday, the one day of the year that DVR`s are used to watch commercials, instead of skip them!
If you see anything posted from me that involves something normal or appropriate, it is not me. I believe I`ve been hacked.
Like this if you can’t think of a clever status either.
There is no harm in imitating a porn movie. But stopping in between because you are imitating the buffering part (!), is unacceptable.
On my bucket list: To be chased through a kitchen at a Chinese restaurant like in the movies.
What kind of jerk makes an anti-anxiety pill difficult to break in half?
Every club is a strip club, if you have the money. Every zoo is a petting zoo, if you have the balls.
People who say 45 minutes past the hour must be the same ones who have kids 89 and 63 month olds
She asked me to make her feel special so I gave her a helmet and crayons.
If I’m not eating I’m most likely not happy.
“The darndest things.” -kids
I feel like doing something productive today. If I sit here long enough, maybe it will go away.
The world is full of nice guys who want naughty girls who want bad boys who want nice girls who want nice guys.
If McDonald´s sold hot dogs, could u, with a straight face, order a McWeiner & tell them 2 super size it?
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to just ignore you.