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Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed and relaxed or you have a headache, dry throat, and are unaware of what year you`re in.
Do trolls even live under bridges anymore? Or have they all relocated to the Internet?
It must be hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest. I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
Turbo tax might just be the worst video game I ever played.
Having kids is like continually cleaning up after a huge party that you didn`t attend.
A new study has found that women find it seven times easier to read men’s facial expressions than men have reading women’s. That’s mostly because we’re not looking at their faces ...
Men are like lottery tickets. Very exciting at first, until you scratch away the surface to reveal the loser beneath.
Comcast is doing home security now so if your house is being robbed they will get the police there on Tuesday between the hours of 8 & 12.
Any time that I see someone wearing crocs, I assume they lost a bet.
If you don`t leave a buffet looking like someone told you bad news you didn`t get your money`s worth.
My hearing is fine. There`s no need to repeat yourself! I ignored you perfectly well the first time.
This century is already 15% over.
I`m currently writing a book about my love of dogs and gardening. It`s called b*tches and hoes
Call me old school, but I think your shorts should be longer than your private parts.
I have nothing!