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Eventually I will find Bigfoot and he will tell me all he knows about Hide & Seek.
It`s kind of funny how so many people think that being gay is a choice but being fat isn`t
When i am bored, i like parking along side the xpressway stick a hair dryer out the window, and watch everyone slam on their brakes.
is actually feeling pretty much okay about not accomplishing anything this year.
Finger Prints on Super Bowl Trophy to be used in dozens of criminal investigations
Don`t forget, If anyone asks we are a normal family.
Every time I start to feel happy I remember the shingles virus is already inside me.
During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"? "Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting.
for those people out there who don`t know me, congrats your not a facebook addict
The best part about being a pathological liar is flying my helicopter to my private island.
I was filling out this form when one of the questions asked "What level is your maturity?" I didn`t fill it out cause I couldn`t find my crayons!!
I made this margarita with my kids` slushie machine ... Don`t judge
Don’t compare yourself to others, that’s when you start to lose confidence in yourself.
Few people have the balls to admit when they`re wrong. Then again, few people have talking balls.
Admit it, we all have that special someone we`d visit if given a tank to drive for a day