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If you borrow my laptop and the volume is at 16% go wash your hands immediately
I swear my cat was an alarm clock in a previous life...
Tonight`s good mood is sponsored by ... Beer!!
Forrest Gump forever changed the way I pronounce buttocks.
So Monday and Tuesday sucked. But, with the right mix of caffeine, alcohol and mushrooms, Wednesday doesn´t even have to happen at all.
I only have a kitchen because it came with the house.
It`s a lot easier to chuck a co-worker in the dumpster than it is to listen to his problems.
i have noticed you notice me noticing you
Jingle all the way. Nobody likes a half-assed jingler.
Im thinking, The best part about sitting down at the computer for a minute and making a status message like this is that by the time you`ve finished reading it and taking a minute out of your day you`ll have a brand sense of enlightenment and awareness that you never had before once you realize that there is absolutely no point to this post whatsoever.
uncle Sam can`t be related to me because family wouldn`t do me like this.
May your neighbors respect you, troubles neglect you, angels protect you and heaven accept you.
Being in hot water isn`t so bad if you throw in some bubbles and a glass of champagne.
Just finished building Rome with Legos. Took me a day.
Sometimes.. late at night... I fill my bathtub with tomato sauce and pretend I am a meatball.