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Hey I just met you... And this is Crazy... But this is a nice restaurant... So, Silence your baby!
The average person farts 14 times a day. Finally, I`m above average at something!!
“Let me rephrase this question so I can get pissed off at you all over again.” - WOMEN
IM LOST! I`ve gone to look for my self. If u see me, tell me to wait here till I get back.
My phone just changed, `calendar` to `cake radar` and now I really wish I had that.
McDonald`s sponsoring the Olympics is like Jack Daniels sponsoring the prom.
Last night I meant to tell my kids "Good night, I love you", but it came out as "Thank god you go back to school on Thursday because this is bulls**t."
May the bridges I burn light the path in front of me...
Jack daniel was found dead by johnie walker at castle strt under savanna tree,captain morgan believed dat he was killed by strongbow.his 4cuzns said that he was best in j&b club at knights...
The older I get, the more I sympathize with Squidward`s anger.
I used to be in a band called "missing cat". You`ve probably seen our poster.
Does this couch I’m laying on make me look unmotivated?
Just saw a car at McDonalds take 4 tries to get lined up in a parking space. I`m not judgmental, so I won`t assume what sex she was.
?"May contain nudity".. either it does or it doesn`t.. quit waistin` my time.
It`s no fun if you have permission.