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If your roommate never walked in on you naked, you`re not naked near enough.
The pollen is so bad this year that the people in the trailer parks are turning their crystal meth back into Sudafed.
What`s the difference between "Ooooo" and "Ahhh"? About 3 inches.
E-Cigs. The great taste of water vapor, the cool look of blowing a flashlight.
It has been scientifically proven that any woman can be satisfied with only 3 1/2 inches — and it doesn’t matter if it is Visa or MasterCard
Grabbing a drink after work is perfectly fine.However, you look like an alcoholic when your getting that drink at 6am.
No way the guy from Operation is insured for any of those ridiculous medical procedures.
I could never cheat in a relationship, That requires 2 women to find me attractive.
Guys if you ever want to imagine what a woman’s mind feels like imagine a browser with 2,859 tabs open. All. The. F*cking. Time.
When I`m older, I`m going to buy one of those Volkswagen Bugs. Only because I have a excuse to hit my wife every time we go somewhere.
I looked up "thesaurus" in my thesaurus and it says "Don`t be a smart-a$$".
Cheer Up. Right now, somebody, somewhere, is thinking about you naked.
I just heard "Eye of the Tiger" and now I`m motivated to conquer the world. Or at least get out of my pajamas.
Got a new Juicer. Going to Juice all these delicious organic vegetables I got ... then add Vodka ... Don`t judge...
Reverse cowgirl. Perfect for when you`re horny, but can`t stand to look at each other !