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Screw it, Iām starting Friday now.
Iām going to start telling women that Iām available for a limited time only in hopes that their shopping instinct kicks in.
I hate buying feminine products! How am I supposed to know if this is the right kind of broom or not?
Valentines Day is the only day of the year that the guy with the smallest package gets the girl.
Lady`s if you want guys to look at your face instead of your chest ... eat a banana.
The cat seems really pissed off. He must have only had 22 hours sleep.
I think when a restaurant has "lobster celebration" it is very misleading to the lobster.
My grandparents still use encyclopedias to google stuff.
It doesn`t matter if you don`t like my personality... I have several more!
For once in my life, Iād like to get up in the morning and be as excited about it as my p@nis is.
According to WebMD, MedicineNet, Healthline, Mayo Clinic, Symptom Checker, NetDoctor, MedlinePlus, Johns Hopkins and InfoMedNet, I`m OCD.
If I owned a copy shop, Iād only hire identical twins to work there.
you know you have a kid personality when you think step brothers is the greatest movie ever.
I hate it when I mentally undressing someone and my OCD kicks in and I start folding their clothes.
These bar stools are creaky!! [continues to fart on first date]