Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The worlds gonna end in 5 days & I don`t know what I`m gonna wear.
some people just need to be kicked... in the stomach... with steel toed boots
It hurts when you go to unfriend someone and you find they`ve beat you to it!
Screw you, regular cars that look like police cars. Also vice versa.
Thinking about moving to Alabama just so I don’t have to scroll through all those other states when I sign up for websites.
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year, and then discover once a year is way too often.
If you don`t give a f*ck then why you telling everybody?
But what if bygones want to be something else? ;)
Note to Self: In future interviews, don`t say "Safe in your strong arms" when the employer asks where I see myself in 5 years.
My favorite thing about decorative towels is how you`re not allowed to use them. Because nothing says class like useless towels.
Long busy day, I need one of those hugs that turns into sex.
I`d have better people skills if I worked with better people.
We all have that one friend that needs to learn how to whisper.
I told everybody at work that I`ve got 18 cats just to make sure none of them ever want to come over for anything.
Turns out having boobs only gets you stuff if you don`t have a penis as well.