Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

You wouldn`t believe all the cool stuff I find when I`m under my bed playing.
According to a recent study 52% of women have used vibrators....I`m guessing the other 48% have new ones?
My internet was down for almost 4 mins, I’m ok but the 911 operator was a total b!tch about it!
Nobody really owns tupperware. We are all just really borrowing it from one another.
Consumer confidence is at an all time high, and so am I.
I always wonder if the people sitting near me at church every Sunday are unsettled by the fact that I take my communion like a shot of cheap vodka because I`m still in a party mode
I`m not really much of a plumber, but I have laid some pipe before.
The WWF advert asks, β€œWhen the ice goes, where do the polar bears go?” ... Well, swimming, I suppose.
It has been scientifically proven that any woman can be satisfied with only 3 1/2 inches β€” and it doesn’t matter if it is Visa or MasterCard
Friends with benefits? What, like you can provide dental insurance?
Fun thing to do: Before leaving someone`s house, ask them if you can take a roll of toilet paper "to go"
The bottle of Pepto Bismol say’s 4 out of every 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one of them enjoys it?
Immature is just a word boring people use to describe fun people.
"Don`t cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse."
Anyone knows when is Facebook sending us the W-2 forms