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You wouldn`t believe all the cool stuff I find when I`m under my bed playing.
According to a recent study 52% of women have used vibrators....I`m guessing the other 48% have new ones?
My internet was down for almost 4 mins, I’m ok but the 911 operator was a total b!tch about it!
Nobody really owns tupperware. We are all just really borrowing it from one another.
Consumer confidence is at an all time high, and so am I.
I always wonder if the people sitting near me at church every Sunday are unsettled by the fact that I take my communion like a shot of cheap vodka because I`m still in a party mode
I`m not really much of a plumber, but I have laid some pipe before.
The WWF advert asks, “When the ice goes, where do the polar bears go?” ... Well, swimming, I suppose.
It has been scientifically proven that any woman can be satisfied with only 3 1/2 inches — and it doesn’t matter if it is Visa or MasterCard
Friends with benefits? What, like you can provide dental insurance?
Fun thing to do: Before leaving someone`s house, ask them if you can take a roll of toilet paper "to go"
The bottle of Pepto Bismol say’s 4 out of every 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one of them enjoys it?
Immature is just a word boring people use to describe fun people.
"Don`t cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse."
Anyone knows when is Facebook sending us the W-2 forms