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You`re the reason I wake up every morning... Just kidding, I have to goto work.
I`m sorry call me old fashioned,but i think your shorts should be longer than your vagina...
Sometimes I think, "Screw this, I will just be a stripper." Then I remember I am fat and I can`t dance.
OK. If you`re so smart, what`s the answer to this question?
In paintball, you should be allowed to use a paintbrush as a knife.
You can tell a lot about someone by whether they read HP as horsepower or hit points.
Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.
You being crazy doesn`t bother me. It`s you being crazier than me...That makes me freakin` jealous.
I bought powdered water but I don`t know what to add to it.
Batman had the bat signal. If you need to get my attention, hold a Roast Beef Sandwich over a floor lamp and aim it at my apartment.
Well, Thanks to SAMSUNG, flat screens are no longer `Flat`.
Is your family tree a cactus? Because everyone on it is a prick.
Don`t have sex man, it leads to kissing and pretty soon you will have to start talking to her..
I wonder if I could get a job as a babysitter if I referenced my Facebook group admin experience.
I don’t drink to forget about problems. I drink to create new problems that that make the old issues irrelevant.