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99% sure my soulmate is a piece of pizza.
I went to a vegan restaurant once. Wait, no, that was just a florist.
doesn`t mind that people start spreading rumors about me.. it’s when they spread the truth that I’m screwed ;)
There are times, when I actually am hungry like the wolf. But thanks to Duran Duran I can`t tell anyone without sound like a complete f*cking idiot
I only drink on two occasions; when its my birthday and when its not.
Statistically, I`ve come to the conclusion that I`m going to hell in multiple religions.
Sleep is my drug, the bed my dealer, the alarm clock the police.
Paused Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory to go buy a Snickers. This is why I can`t watch Breaking Bad.
*uses Ouija board* NEW PHONE WHO DIS
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much shit to carry.
You`re telling me, a chicken fried this rice
Like a glow stick, sometimes we have to break before we shine.
I wish I was full of tacos instead of feelings.
Life would be perfect if: Mondays were fun, junk food was healthy, drama didn’t exist, and goodbyes were only until tomorrow.
I`m not lazy... I`m in energy saving mode.