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If you watch COPS backwards it`s just a bunch of people overcoming miraculous obstacles to win free drugs
My resolution last year was to learn Spanish, and that only lasted about dos weekos.
When I woke up today, I had no plans to be awesome, it just happened.
Girls don`t dress for guys, they dress for themselves. If they dressed for guys they would be naked all the time
Of course it`s you....there`s no f*cking way it`s me.
Gatorade always has athletes in their commercials sweating and working hard. They really should target their real consumer. A Fat guy on the couch nursing a hangover. Is it in you?
Sometimes it takes me 8 hours to get nothing done.
Gray hair is the human body`s equivalent of low toner.
Appearing on several episodes of Cops doesn`t make you a TV star.
Don`t waste your time being difficult. Put forth a little more effort and be impossible.
The ideal man doesn`t smoke, doesn`t drink, doesn`t do drugs, doesn`t swear, doesn`t get angry, doesn`t exist
A show called the view shouldn`t hurt your eyes
One day I hope to understand the phrase "more money, more problems"
The nice thing about living in the southern states is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense here.
Dear whoever ate my fries while I was in the ball pit at McDonalds... Not funny, grow up.