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I’m single by choice. Not my choice, but still a choice!
If I was rich, I`d do nothing all day from a much nicer couch
For those of you wondering what it`s like to be married, I`m on day 3 of an argument I didn`t know I was having.
You know you’re awesome when you know you’re awesome.
I`m looking for a new personal trainer, the last one didn`t work out
Put glitter on top of all your friends ceiling fans blades........... Wait till summer... Enjoy!
I try and avoid picking up turtles on the side of the road. Just in case they`re in the middle of a race.
A garbage disposal is just a device for finishing off all the food no one else in the house will eat.
I like to log into facebook and leave a status just to show I`m here. Or am I?
?"I hate when people come to MY house, knock on MY door, and then give me the "why aren`t you wearing pants" look."
It`s tax season. Anyone have some spare kids?
Show me a bunch of people with type A personalities, and I`ll show you a control group.
I`m the type of person who goes out to a restaurant and orders a veggie burger with cheese and bacon on it.
I live in a small town where the population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregant a guy leaves town.
I hate spelling errors so much. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined....