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"There`s nothing sexier than a chick that knows how to work on cars" -Dudes, trying to get us to do that job too.
Just put my money where my mouth is. Pennies taste disgusting.
I wish I could talk to donkeys so I could be known as the ass whisperer.
The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains is great news for stupid people.
Why was the cat in the bag in the first place?
Whoever said, "All men are created equal", has obviously never been to a nude beach
My girlfriend told me that Iām starting to annoy her because I relate everything to batman ... What a Joker...
Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
I`m getting worried about this Ebola virus. I mean, I`ve got Norton but...
This donut scented car freshener will more than pay for itself next time I get pulled over.
Hey micky you`re so fine, you`re so fine you blow my mind hey micky! hey micky! Admit it, you didnt read it, you sang it
Beach Rule #17: Never ask anyone under the age of 35 if they`ve seen your shuttlecock
I was all ears until you said something that sounded like advice.
Girls just wanna have funds.
I`m paying my taxes with a smile, but they wrote me back saying they want cash.