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I put the o in illiterate!
Just tried to pay for my McDonalds with a hug, it didn`t work. Don`t believe the rumors.
Don`t judge if you don`t know me. Unless you`re making my pizza & you say "This guy looks like he wants extra cheese" then please do..
It isn`t until your kids start talking back that you realize dogs would`ve been a better option.
If I was a Jedi there is a 100% chance that I would use the Force inappropriately.
The good thing about being 6' 6? is that if I develop a bald patch, no one will see it..Unless you’re using Google Earth.
There 492 billionaires in the United States, and not one of those goddamned losers has decided to become Batman.
Male or female, no one f*cks with you if you put your lipstick on like The Joker.
"Why?" - Socrates and four year-olds
Sorry I didn`t answer when you called, I had 6 Peeps in my mouth
People must stop questioning my sanity, it wont answer them.
If you ever get caught sleeping during work, just slowly raise your hand and say "In Jesus name I pray, Amen."
I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then...
The dollar store needs to go ahead and open up a few gas stations.
Give a man a fish and he`ll go to McDonald`s instead. Teach a man to fish and nope, still McDonald`s