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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I propose we change the names of the upper case P and lower case p to "P standing up" and "p sitting down."
Since there’s only one of me, does that make me an endangered species?
For those who do not know what ADHD can do to a person, let me expla.....oooh look i got a text message.
I`m looking for a girlfriend that likes me for my money, but is really bad at math...
I`m starting to think the Hangover Fairy and the Angel of Death are the same person.
That`s a horrible idea ... What time?
Can someone else be a sex symbol today? ... My good T-shirt is still in the wash...
If your single and you know it…Pet your cat!
My plan for today? Same as always: Drink coffee and be sexy.
Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I’d take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
Studies show that men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. Unless your wife finds out.
Can I get likes for no reason?
Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.
Can you LIKE this status with your elbow? (no cheating)
I asked my girlfriend why she never tells me when she orgasms. She said she doesn`t like phoning me at work.