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I don`t wanna make this weird but that`s just kinda how I do things.
Everything in earthquake-prone areas should be built on top of a giant Tempurpedic mattress.
The officer said, "you drinking?" I said, "you buying?" then we both laughed and laughed... And now I need bail money.
The worst thing about renting movie from a Red Box is that a $1 late fee isn’t enough motivation to get off the couch.
When you have the opportunity to become a bigger person, take it because cake is delicious.
Shouldn`t we get paid to use the self-service checkouts in supermarkets? It`s like we work there for a little while.
It´s Friday!! yea! Oh sorry, I was just practicing.
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who really do.
I will be responsible for my actions when my actions become more responsible.
Porn is the one industry where segregating races, genders, sexual preference, is completely acceptable
I don`t care about Disney lying about the Prince Charmings out there. I`m more annoyed that random woodland creatures won`t clean my house.
A word to the wise ain`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice.
Afraid my muffin top is desiring to become a pound cake.
If you walk a mile in my shoes the least you can do is leave a pair of yours to wear.
When ever I think about the past...It brings back so many memories