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I hide from people too, so I get it unicorns, I get it.
Everyone is gifted. But not everyone opens their present.
I was feeling down...then all of a sudden I felt myself up. Win, win situation! ;)
Should all acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind, should all acquaintance be forgot and somebody refill my wine.
I still water my dead plants every 3 months. Just in case...
Parallel park, like nobody’s laughing.
If I had to choose between Star Wars and Star Trek, I`d probably choose beer.
Sex, drugs, and candy crush all have one thing in common. It’s only an addiction if you start paying for it.
Relationship Status: eating
They called themselves geologists because stoners was already taken.
Dance like no one´s going to put it on YouTube.
I just got this sudden urge to do something productive. Wait nope, false alarm.
I think people who use "go fly a kite" as an insult don`t really understand kites or insults.
I love watching The Simpsons. They never get old.
I don`t drink to feel better about myself. I drink to feel better about being with you