Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A hospital is the only commercial establishment where the worse service they provide you, the more you`ll come back.
Now what`s funny is "Si" from Duck Dynasty
“Knock him out.” – Mama
I should be cleaning and disinfecting the toilet bowl today cause I have a feeling I`ll be hunched over hugging it later tonight.
Well that`s a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I`m doing.
Girls probably spend more time thinking about what men think than men actually spend thinking.
The problem with plants is that you have to water them… like more than once apparently.
Was just thinking …. What would the world be like if McDonalds delivered?
WHEW! I just had a near-work experience.
I think instead of doing laundry I`m just going to buy a second hamper...
If money can’t buy happiness explain pizza.
I`m switching to Metric. I would weigh a lot less on the Metric scale.
The girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy.. so I went out and got drunk.
Trying to master the art of eating a powdered donut without looking like I just left Charlie Sheen`s house.
Why can`t things be simple like they use to be? I show you a bug I found, we share a snack pack, and then you`re my girlfriend.