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If there is no chocolate in heaven...I AM NOT GOING!
Tattoos are like potato chips. You can`t have just one.
I clean my house like everyone else ... 5 minutes before someone comes over.
This skinny girl just told me she "forgets" to eat? Is that possible? I just licked her face in case it`s contagious.
You’re probably naked under all those clothes. You slut.
I think there are great benefits in remaining strangers.
Marijuana is a type of flower, therefore I am a florist not a drug dealer :p
We look like we are being productive, but really, we are just talking sh!t about co-workers and how drunk we got last weekend.
Who ever said, "The customer is always right", clearly never worked with the public a day in their life.
Destiny may decide who touches your Life. Your heart may decide who touches your Soul. But…Tequila decides who touches your body
Inventor of camping: "Hey, let`s go pretend to be homeless."
Working in retail has taught me that the customer is always right. At least while they`re in earshot...
Never be mean to nerds. You never know, one day you might be working for them!
Don`t sell yourself short, in fact, don`t sell yourself at all. I`m pretty sure it`s illegal
The longer a Woman takes to get ready, the easier it is to piss her off.. it`s Science