Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"Give me your finest meal, money is of no concern." ~ Me at McDonald`s on pay day.
I`m now fit to make my regular annual resolution. The accomplishment is the problem
Some people just need sympathetic pat.........on the head........with a hammer
Watching game shows is like watching porn, you get excited watching someone else get lucky
Facebook taught me to mind everyone else`s business.
I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like "Dude, you have to wait."
Last night I had this awesome dream, where I fought this huge fat ninja and knocked him out with my super power punch. I`d tell you more but I have to take my wife to the doctor. She has this mysterious black eye.
Nothing screws up your Friday more than realizing it’s only Tuesday.
Its sad that we live in a world that puts words into the dictionary if enough stupid people use it.
I`d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there’s some millionaire walking around who invented the Pool Noodle.
The girl at the Taco Bell drive thru gave me this “I know your high” look. I snatched my 37 crunchy tacos and got out of there.
I’m bored. Anyone need anything avenged?
Orgasms are alot like pizza. As long as I have pizza I don`t really care if you don`t have any pizza.
Gardening is awesome because it is one of the only ways a normal person can be persuaded into buying actual bags of poop.