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I have a feeling I already know which direction my "Get rich or die trying" lifestyle is headed.
Every loaf of bread is a tragic story of grains that could`ve become beer, but didn`t
For all of you who gossip about me: Thanks for making me the center of your world.
There’s too much blood in my caffeine system
Sign: "No alcohol past this point." Translation: Bet you can`t chug this entire beer, right now.
why do wise people never make wisecracks?
Is beer cheaper on cyber monday?
The computers were down at work today, so we had to do everything manually. It took me twenty minutes to shuffle the cards to play solitaire.
I need to learn the rules to make sure I don`t accidently follow them
Feeling bored? Post a status on Facebook that says "Barack Obama 2016" and buckle up for the ride of your life.
It`s a small world, but I wouldn`t want to paint it.
It`s so strange to think that before Facebook all of this nonsense just stayed in people`s heads
Never look directly at the people having a sizzling plate of fajitas delivered to their table... It’s what they want.
Anyone knows when is Facebook sending us the W-2 forms
When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it’s “art” and “music”... but when I do it, I’m “wasted” and “have to leave Home Depot"