Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You feel naked without your phone, I feel naked without my clothes.
Kids may be a gift, but I like playing with the box it came in.
Bring donuts so your coworkers will like you. Cut them in half so they will hate you again.
It`s not a walk of shame if you leave on a pogo stick.
Helpful Tip : The police never think it`s as funny as you do.
I don`t think boredom gets enough blame for the trouble it causes.
Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.
The last time I touched a breast, it was in a KFC bucket.
If anyone is looking for an unlicensed helicopter pilot give me a call. . .
I`ve been hiding from exercise ... I`m in the fitness protection program.
How does anything ever get done at the bubble wrap factory?
Boobs are to men what light bulbs are to moths.
I`m going crazy! Get in, you`re riding shotgun!
Be nice to people on your way up so they won’t get suspicious when you’re rich and you invite them to your island to hunt them for sport.
The true trollers are the ones who troll the trolls.