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I have something on my mind but I am not telling you, Facebook.
You`re as useless as a referee in the WWE
Got a problem with me? I’m pretty sure a status on Facebook won’t fix it.
Beheaded our snowman to let winter know we mean business.
Sorry I got drunk and said and did everything I wanted to say and do.
Who cares, WTF, OMG, so inappropriate, HOLY HELL ! Good LORD, not another selfie...WHOA NELLIE, NO, NO, and HELL NO!!! Me before unfriending someone.
I bet acting like azzholes on the Internet all day wasn`t where most of us visioned our lives to be right now.
I hate it when my kid starts crying in the middle of the night and I have to get up to close the bedroom door.
If you have really strong opinions on subjects that you know very little about... then Facebook just may be the perfect thing for you.
That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is “act natural, you’re innocent”.
I was on the treadmill for 20 minutes this morning. Tomorrow I might even turn it on, but let’s not rush into things.
Beer: Giving you the courage to talk to women but taking away the ability to make sense.
Your pants say yoga but your a$$ says McDonalds!!
I`m not giving the kids a time out. I`m giving myself one. The thought of sitting in a corner & being ignored sounds just heavenly.
The real heroes are the people who live within driving distance of their in-laws.