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What sort of drug abuse and debauchery has to occur in someone`s life for them to start liking Charmin Toilet Paper on Facebook?
Someone asked me why I use the "F" bomb so much. What the F*ck is an "F" bomb?
Some of you are so dumb, I don`t even know how you found the internet.
Nothing says poor life choices like the guy with the half smoked cigarette behind his ear
You bring everyone a lot of joy ... when you leave the room.
A "long story" is just a short story that no one wants to tell.
Ladies, if he calls you crazy, don`t get upset. Crazy girls are better in bed so take it as a compliment. But stab him, just in case...
There`s no rehab for stupid! ;P
Nothing screws up your Friday more than realizing it’s only Tuesday.
How do American chickens cross the road? In a bucket.
The NFL has hired their first female referee ... She will be throwing flags for penalties the teams committed 5 years ago.
I want to know what horrific ideas were rejected before they decided "Vagisil" was the best possible brand name?
I`ve been married twice. The next wife I have will be someone else`s and she can just go home when she`s mad at me.
People who over-exaggerate make me so mad that I just want to light everyone on fire.
It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs… because they always take things literally