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I need an app that shows oncoming traffic on my touchscreen while I`m driving
I`m 5`5" and a HALF. I think men should be pretty impressed that I consider half inches very important when measuring things.
The easiest way to keep a secret is without help
I like people... From a distance.
They say you need about 2000 calories a day. Ok, time to do math. 65 calories in one fluid ounce of Jack Daniel`s means i need 30 shots tonight.
Seth Rogen and James Franco having their movie pulled due to terrorist threats sounds like the plot of a Seth Rogen and James Franco movie.
If your drug dealer is always on time he is a cop …
It`s just adorable how the Liquor Store cashier always wishes me a good week as if I won`t be back tomorrow.
Apparently this dude at the mall was just tying his shoe and did NOT want to play leap frog. My bad, dude. My bad.
I liked you better before we met.
Always believe a woman when she says, "you don`t really wanna know"
I say if you can`t come up with anything nice to say then post it on Facebook.
Why can`t life be as easy as I am?
I assume that a Columbus Day sale means I can just walk into a store and take whatever I want.
The “Slow Children Playing” signs always make me sad. Would it cost that much more to thrown in punctuation?