Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
whats the difference between a dog and a fox????? six shots
Do you know how many poisonous apples I`d have to give out before I was considered to be the fairest in the land?
The only thing creepier than seeing a guy in a Speedo is seeing a guy in a Speedo staring back at you
My friend told me he wants to be a secret agent. Based on that alone, I don`t think he`d be a good secret agent.
I hate it when 18 wheelers blow their horns while Im driving, that sh*t wakes me up!
Sorry to burst your bubble, but your waiter doesn`t really think your choice was excellent.
FYI: You have to stop Facebook posting to have an alibi for ignoring texts.
The difference between beer and your opinion is that I asked for a beer.
Attractive Woman: What time is it? Me: Haha. Yeah definitely
Guys, if she says she’s crazy, she’s harmless. The real crazy ones never give you a damn clue.
boss: why are you peeing on the floor? mikeski: i already filled up your coffee cup.
You say hangover. I say out of booze.
So your baby doesn`t know any tricks at all?
They say milk is good for your teeth..you know what else is good for your teeth..minding your own damn buisness
Cocaine dealers are always trying to stick their business in other people`s noses.