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I don`t hate you, I`m just not necessarily excited about your existence.
I love my work, but I would also love to never have to do it again.
When I come home 4 the holidays I throw $40 on the table & say "Look we`re keeping the thermostat at 75, and we`re turning on some lights."
I was sad, because I had no shoes. Until I met a man that had no feet. So, I took his shoes, cuz hey, he wan`t using them anyway!
You know what`s more miraculous than a video with a million view but no dislikes on YouTube? The detention sheet empty for my class.
I have lots of great personality traits. Or as my doctor calls them, symptoms.
My favorite all time cooking shows: 1. Iron Chef 2. Hell`s Kitchen 3. Breaking bad
It may appear like I`m doing nothing, but i`m actively waiting for my problems to go away!!!
People who walk in front of the theatre screen while you`re watching a pirated movie on your computer are so rude.
I just saw a guy take a bite of Kit Kat bar without breaking it apart first! Sir, we live in a society with rules, please adhere to them.
I like to go to the bathroom with the door open, because it keeps other people from getting onto the elevator with me.
I started to keep a notepad beside the bed so that I can write down post at night, so far I have: Really shitty handwriting in the dark.
I like how Reese`s come with two peanut butter cups in the package. That way I can eat one now and then the other one right afterwards.
Don`t judge a man by how low his pants hang below his a$$...just kidding, that`s a great reason to judge someone.
When I was a kid...no wait, I still do that.