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You wouldn`t believe all the cool stuff I find when I`m under my bed playing.
lol <- looks like a stick man drowning. lol
Big shout out to all the spiders not building their webs at face level.
Have you ever seen the look on a mans face when he is truly sorry? Yeah, me either!
I try to avoid nice people, so they can stay that way.
ME: “We have a problem, the liquor store is closed.” HER: “That`s ok, I don’t drink.” ME: “Ok we have two problems.”
Whenever someone invites me to their home and I see more than 3 cars parked outside, I keep driving just in case it`s an intervention.
Lazy Rule 47: If you spill water, it will eventually dry.
Sorry I just saw your text from last night, are you guys still at the restaurant
Ever been in the middle of writing a great post and think, did I just run someone over?
Do you think regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh crap! It’s the cops!”?
If at first you don`t succeed, you`ll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn`t succeed either.
I trust Snapple facts more than CNN and Fox News.
I just want to alternate between napping and eating all day everyday while getting attention, so basically I just wish I were a dog.
What do horses eat? Hay. What do gay horses eat? Haaaayyyy!