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I used to be a camera man in the porn industry but it became too hard...
I’m probably single because I forgot to forward those chain messages from 2008.
OMG you guys! Almost hit a jogger while i was taking a selfie and driving today...so please you guys, be careful, do NOT jog.
Apparently when a trainer asks you why you want to get in shape and you answer "revenge" it will raise a couple eyebrows.
I hide from people too, so I get it bigfoot, I get it.
Someone told me the camera adds 10 pounds and I was like why would anyone eat a camera you idiot?
Q: What do you call apple-flavoured marijuana? A: iPot
It`s amazing how many pedestrians confuse right-of-way with immortality.
Been there, done that. Hypothetically
I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn’t even eat them?
I have discovered that theirs no popcorn in popcorn chicken. I guess there`s no point in bothering with hash browns then.
Trying to be a responsible adult is messing up my social life.
Some of you are like family to me. I don’t want you calling me either.
I can’t remember ever being told I’m a bad listener
Yesterday I saw something that reminded me of you. I almost stepped in it!