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If your Facebook post requires me to hit “continue…” get a diary.
When I die, I don`t want to go sober...
"They Dared Me To" should be a legitimate excuse in a Court of Law.
Wait...so the "c-word" isn`t co-worker?
This is my Facebook status. There are many like it but this one is mine.
Reverse Psychology: DO not STALK MY FB PAGE. YOU ARE not OBSESSED WITH ME...
The wife and I never really argue except on where to vacation. I wanna go to the beach and she wants to come with me
is battling with eyelids
I´m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
People who say they sleep like a baby usually dont have one
Rough day! I have now completed the top 6 things off my to-do list ... Time to go get another six pack I guess.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
If at first you don`t succeed, you`ll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn`t succeed either.
Its all fun and games until someone drinks the beer with the cigarette butts in it..
Fitness? More like, fitness whole pizza in my mouth.