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I want to meet myself from someone else’s point of view.
Ironically, Internet was made to save our time.
I have a land line just so that I still have the option to slam the phone down when I angrily hang up on someone.
I just read last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don’t want to start any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number? ...hmm
Sometimes I whisper, "I´m on your side" to the computers, just in case they ever succeed in taking over the world.
Kids are like debit cards. I get yelled at when I accidentally leave them at the store.
the `real` me doesnt do facebook
I have an alcohol problem, in that I can`t afford any.
Making mirrors look good, since 1972
Who named them veterinarians and not "dogtors"?
Shouldn`t the Air and Space museum be empty?
Just read a book on quantum evolution. The idea is that quantum mechanics are involved in the process of evolution. I still say go to WalMart and then try to sell me on evolution....
If a zombie apocalypse were to happen in Vegas... would it stay in Vegas?
Facebook should have a limit on times you can update your relationship status, after 3 it should default to "unstable".
Now tell me how old your baby is in hours.