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I just saw a hot mom at McDonalds spank her kid after he threw his fries on the ground, so I threw my fries on the ground too.
you know....I must be drop dead sexy because....cashiers are always checking me out….
Women spend more time thinking about what men think than men actually spend thinking.
If I ignored you any harder, we`d be married.
If by "help you cook" you mean drink wine in the kitchen while you do the work, then yes, I`d love to help you cook.
If I lived in England I would approach my boss on payday and say "pound me."
If no one from the future comes back to stop you, is it really that bad of an idea?
See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
I don`t know why people say life is short....this seems to be taking forever.
You can dress for success or undress for it. It depends on what type of work you want.
You can tell a man`s age by how close their socks are to their knees.
Pork is awesome, but it`s best when used as a verb.
"Well, now I see how you came up with the word `Microsoft`." -Melinda Gates (on their wedding night)
If you ever hit rock bottom, bring some beer. I`m almost out.
Vaginas are like the weather. When it`s wet, it`s time to go inside.