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Once in a while you meet a person that makes you smile when you think about them. They`re trouble. Stay away from them.
Just saw a guy with a Support Dyslexia bumper sticker on the front of his car.
I didn`t see anyone important yesterday, so I`ll probably wear these same clothes today.
I don`t know why I don`t buy more piñatas. Like right now I would love to beat the shit out of something and then eat a bunch of candy.
I found a spider in my shoe. He looks ridiculous, they`re way too big for him.
You can`t fix stupid, but you can always drink more beer.
I just found love.....its on page 369 in dictionary
There’d be less accidents if there was a texting lane.
"My name will live forever!" - Anonymous.
I wish I could get excited as a redneck drinking cheap beer and watching cars go around in circles for hours.
I can`t really walk the walk, or talk the talk. But, if you need someone to drink the drink, I`m your man!
Do the right thing today: Go to someone`s profile, scroll down 4 months, and like something.
Plumber: you have hard water. Me: you mean like ice?
The Bishop came to our church today, but I think he was an imposter. He never once moved diagonally.
I wonder what the inventor of the drawing board said when his first design didn’t work out.