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I like to finish all of my drive thru orders with, "And that`s for here."
I went to McDonald`s to grab my boys a couple of Happy meals. The guy serving me says "Would you like a Boy Toy"? I was like, "listen hear you little sh!t, you couldn`t handle me if you tried"!! What is this world coming too... :))
I`m sorry I hurt your feelings. When I called you stupid, I really thought you already knew..
’Friday’ is my second favourite word starting from the letter `F`. :)
You are living proof that the Lord is testing me.
You know when you`re exercising and feel like you could keep going and going? That`s happened to me, only with beer.
Happy Monday!! I`m gonna sit this one out.
Marriage: where all the excitement, laughter and sex is gone but she’s still there.
Advice of the day: Don`t go trick or treating at the bank. They get freaked out. Especially when it`s not Halloween
She texted me: "your adorable." I replied: "no, YOU`RE adorable." Now she likes me, but all I did was point out her typo.
Whenever you`re feeling down and in the dumps, just remember...the rest of us have been feeling that way about you too!
I`m on that “Starts tomorrow” diet.
If I`m guilty of anything it`s loving you too much. Oh and indecent exposure...I suppose trespassing too.
I wish my bank account refilled as fast as my laundry basket.
Million dollar idea: A snooze button that lets you sleep longer the harder you hit it.