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I know the voices aren`t real but they have some great ideas.
I’ve never had angry sex. I’m always happy and quite surprised that it is actually happening.
I really like my new electric toothbrush, even though sometimes, I still break out the acoustic.
This "NORMAL" you speak of, doesn`t sound fun at all.
Life is a constant battle between my love of food & not wanting to get fat.
My ex warned me that I would never find a girl like her again....THANK GOD!
Who wants to do something we will regret in the morning? Anyone?
I feel like doing something productive today. If I sit here long enough, maybe it will go away.
Neil Armstrong lands on the moon: 5 pictures. Girl goes to Bathroom: 47 pictures.
Only you can prevent bathroom mirror pictures.
I’m posing nude for an art class this evening. Nobody asked me to. I think they’re making ceramic bowls.
Two of the greatest mysteries of the universe: 1) Why are we here? 2) How come Chinese restaurants don`t serve breakfast?
As you get older your Christmas list gets shorter, because the things you want can`t be bought.
I’m still kind of pissed they never told us how to get to Sesame Street.
Do you want to hear a joke about constipation and dementia? ...Well, tough sh!t, I forgot it.