Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I`m really wanting to sit and watch a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?
God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I can not change.
Similarities between BRA and BAR 1. Both have similar letters 2. Both are drinking zones 3. When both opened men go crazy "prove me wrong"
If you`ve never needed to move to a new city and assume a new identity, then we probably haven`t dated.
Boy if these walls could talk I`d be like "HOLY SH!T TALKING WALLS"
It`s too bad parallel lines never meet because they have so much in common.
People would probably piss me off a lot less if I was allowed to drive a tank.
I can understand your anger at me, but what could you possibly have against the horse I rode in on?
If we sneezed Windex instead of spit I bet my neighbors would be cool with me standing at their window.
I noticed tonight that I was the hottest cashier at the self checkout line.
If Reincarnation ends up being real... Those People who got "YOLO" tattoos are going to look... Pretty Silly
I`ve dieted and worked out enough to realize that the only way I`m getting smokin` hot is by getting cremated.
I can see your camouflage pants, so they`re not working.
If you Google the word `overreacting` there`s a picture of me using a fire extinguisher on a spider.
Wonders why thereΒ΄s an ice cream truck for kids but not a frozen Margaurita truck for adults?