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To understand paranoid people better, follow them around
I hear my ex is now into orgies, or at least that`s what the Craigslist ad I just posted on her behalf said.
You`re so dumb you have to get naked to count to 21.
Just like our bodies, our minds need exercise. That`s why I think of jogging every morning.
Double-Stuffed Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
If women ruled the world, There would be no wars. just a bunch of counties not talking to each other!
This looks like a job for Superman! -unemployed Superman reading the classifieds
Found out today you cannot join a gym "just to watch".
If looks could kill, mirrors would be the leading cause of death among ugly people
I know it`s 3 meals a day,,,,,, But how many at night?
I may not be a veterinarian, but I know a horses a$$ when I meet one.
Life in the fast lane ? Heck, I live in oncoming traffic.
Sometimes I just go on Facebook to see who has been dumped and who is pregnant.
It’s been “one of those days” for like 3 years now.
They say do what you love & the money will follow. I love doing nothing. We`ll see.