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Honestly, I have no idea what the f*ck I`ll do with 5 hours of energy.
I suffer from paranoia and procrastination. Everyone is out to get me, just not right now.
I do procrastinate more than I should, but it always gives me something to do tomorrow...
Roses are red, violets are blue, If i had a brick id throw it at you.
Sleep feels the way pizza tastes.
Be nice to a nerd. Prevent a super-villain.
You had me at "I hate that b!tch too".
Laughter is not the best medicine. Laughter with large amounts of alcohol & wild crazy monkey sex - now that`s the best medicine.
Daylight Savings makes us lose an hour... It’s kind of like Facebook.
Sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs
Try Zumba, It`s awesome ... on my way to the emergency room.
“we should hang out soon” loosely translates to I’m doing everything in my power to end this stupid conversation.
If you are offended by the words "In God We Trust" on your money, then send it to me. I don`t mind it at all.
you know you have a kid personality when you think step brothers is the greatest movie ever.
In honor of this years` Super Bowl participants respective States of residence, they`ve changed kickoff to 4:20 Eastern Standard time.