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I don’t like being told what to do…unless I’m naked.
Blessed are they who can just read it and move on.
Parallel park, like nobody’s laughing.
Girls are like roads, the more curves, the more dangerous they are.
A cheap way to get Botox face is by walking your dog in zero degree temperature.
I just came online to check the weather. That was 12 years ago.
that awkward moment when a bug or fly lands on your computer screen in your first reaction is to scare it away with the cursor.
My alarm clock is clearly jelouse of my amazing relationship with my bed.
Don`t hate me because I`m beautiful. Hate me because your man thinks I am.
Well, just 8 more hours of Facebook and I can go back to bed. *phew*
I just missed winning the lottery by only 6 numbers.
Just shaved my legs for the first time since October...just kidding, it`s not warm enough for that yet.
Moses had the first tablet with cloud connectivity.
Benefits of dating me: 1. You`re the sane one.
You’d think the chances of putting in a USB drive wrongside-up would be 50-50, but nope, 90-10.