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What flavor is this Harlem Shake you speak of?
Why don’t television shows say, “You will be delighted to know that this program contains strong sexual content?”
Apparently this Walmart cashier only brushes her favorite teeth.
If you really want to get under someone`s skin these days, just leave them a voicemail.
I think once we get past the restraining orders, court dates, and the stalking charges we can really make this relationship work.
I`ve been running as fast as I can, but I still can`t catch my breath.
Make fun of George Bush all you want, but he would have found a way to bomb North Korea before they shut down Hollywood.
Why non-smokers don`t take bubble blowing breaks is beyond me
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice ... it`s cuz you have really nice tits.
Why do we even ask rhetorical questions?
When I see a girl with too much makeup, I just want to use my finger to write "Wash Me" on her face.
I`ve decided to start taking more supplements: calcium pills for my bones, ginkgo pills for my memory, milk thistle for my liver, ginkgo pills for my memory...
October is breasts cancer month. I stare because I care.
Why is it always the same person getting in your way from start to checkout at the grocery store?
How much tequila goes into mashed potatoes again?