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Before the internet I used to like people.
It`s not everyday you find a $50 bill in your pocket, I didn`t, but like I said it`s not everyday..
"There`s nothing sexier than a chick that knows how to work on cars" -Dudes, trying to get us to do that job too.
Don`t worry. Your secret is safe with me. I wasn`t listening anyway.
Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?
Relationships would be easier if people came with a “Clear History” button.
I wish I could google "things to eat in my fridge" so I wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed. ;)
My cat is wearing a cone & has learned to scoop up his food and let it slide into his mouth and it`s giving me serious ideas, folks
Have you ever ate something so good that you do a little happy dance while your eating it?
How am I supposed to show a girl I like her, if I can’t even make her a mix tape anymore?
I`m CDO. It`s like OCD but the letters are in alphabetical order. LIKE THEY SHOULD BE!!!
Just got back from a job fair. Very disappointed. They didn`t have one damn ride.
I don’t know how many girls it takes to change a lightbulb but I guarantee you they’d post pictures of them doing it on Facebook.
What do you mean casual Friday does not mean drink wine and get drunk at work
Nobody expects you to post brilliance. Just be yourself, with the occasional intent of bringing shame to your entire family.