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Do people smoke e-cigarettes after sexting?
I enjoy being the black sheep of the family ... Black sheep are the prettiest & don`t show as much dirt as the white ones.
If you can`t fix it with duct tape or beer ... it ain`t worth fixin`
I think it`s really strange how some people talk to their animals, give them personalities and make up voices for them. My dog, Benjamin, agrees with me.
My fridge is just hospice for vegetables.
Why is it that whenever I have to turn around in a strange driveway, I feel like they`re gonna come running out with pitchforks and torches?
Dearest Neighbors, Please do not call the police, it`s not domestic violence or a wild party. It`s football season, that`s just me screaming at my TV.
Day 1. I am thankful that I haven`t fallen into the trap of Facebook thankful status updates.
i hope your life is as long and useful as this roll of toilet paper!!!
Pay no attention to the device around my ankle.
I wonder where superman changes now that there are no more phone booths
I`m good at counting cards. I keep ending up with 52.
I am a gentleman, based on the clubs I go to.
If people who shop at Walmart, “Save Money. Live Better.” Exactly how bad were these people living BEFORE Walmart?
Not a day goes by when I don`t try to use The Force.