Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
when she says "size doesn`t matter" what she really means is "I have been disappointed before." :)
What idiot called it the sun instead of a space heater?
They say you have real problems if you hear disembodied voices; fortunately all my imaginary friends have bodies.
I sometimes goto Starbucks for coffee and tell them my name is Bueller ... Then leave before my coffe is ready
When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because you have incriminating evidence.
If you come to myspace and twitter about my yahoo, can I google over your facebook?
"keep moving.....nothing to see here"
I`m so great, I`m jealous of myself.
Sometimes, I send game request just to piss people off :)
There would be a lot less people willing to run for public office if the losers were required to pick up all the lawn signs afterwards.
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, never mind, you will know who you are soon enough.
When women say “It’s not what’s on the outside, it’s what’s on the inside that counts”, we all know they are talking about a Man’s wallets.
No, I do not want to talk about how I got all these scratches. On a completely unrelated note; If you`ve ever wondered how many squirrels fit in a pillowcase,,,.. it’s 9.
It`s a bad sign when your credit card bill has a comma and your bank statement doesn`t!