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Scientists discover that caterpillars can whistle. Am I the only one wondering if they`re concentrating their efforts on the wrong things?
The only thing I hate about beer is that there`s absolutely nothing I hate about beer... :)
Gift cards: The best way to say "Here, you figure it out..."
Health experts recommend a 1500 calorie diet. For those of you not good with math... that’s a 12-pack of 125 calorie beers. You`re welcome!!! ;)
"I am upping my standards... so up yours!"
If I agree with you, we would both be wrong.
I don’t repeat gossip, so listen carefully
"Try to score a goal. Don`t use your hands. See you afterwards." - Soccer coaches
You know you are getting old when people keep telling you how young you look.
I wish I was as fat as the first time I thought I was fat.
Facebook- to help future generations discover if there`s ever been any mental illness in the family.
Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
The only thing more amusing than someone leaving a voicemail is them asking if you actually listened to it.
My Status updates are so great people hit the like button twice
I heard recently on the radio that, "If a man looks at womens breasts for 10 mins a day he will add 5 years to his life".. Can anyone confirm this?!! If so what are we waiting for?