Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sorry I’m cranky. I didn’t get my nap in today.
Accidentally missed the freeway exit for home, now I’m heading north to start a new life.
I’m giving up on the silent treatment. ...Going to start talking to myself again.
I think today I`ll stalk my stalker, just to shake things up a little.
Why would you be scared to get Ebola? You haven`t left your couch since 2011.
The world would be a better place if we all got along like the "Price is Right" audience.
There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.
Just once I want someone to make a movie that’s sideways on the screen so I can watch it laying down without getting a kink in my neck.
I’m home alone. Time to start my concert.
I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I`m making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it.
If I had a dollar for every time I had a nickel.......
You actually are not the stupidest person on the planet. But if he were to die...
Feeling a little sassy today...But then again, that`s everyday
If everyone would just be naughty next year, Santa would bring us all coal ... energy crisis solved!
They say love is in every corner… Then my life must be a freakin’ circle.