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I hate buying feminine products! How am I supposed to know if this is the right kind of broom or not?
I am actually impressed by what Lance Armstrong has done. When I was on drugs, I couldn`t even find my bike!
Sorry I yelled "April Fool`s" while you were proposing to your girlfriend.
Next time you are in a restaurant, give this a thought. The fork you are using has been in the mouth of hundreds of people. Now look at the people eating right by you. Scary, right?
I`m just a boy...standing in front of a girl...asking her to lov.....aw who am I trying to fool. I just want in your pants.
My life has a great cast, but I can’t really figure out the plot.
When my kids grow up, I’m going to their house to break their stuff, eat all their food, make a huge mess, say I’m bored & then just leave!
Life is fun! You should get one.
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Wal-Mart
I will never miss you, because I`m a really good shooter.
Sometimes, when I "like" your post, it`s because my touchscreen is too sensitive and I only meant to scroll by your ass. Sometimes. ;)
I`d love to drown my problems... I just can`t get my spouse to go swimming!
The club sandwich, for when a knuckle sandwich just isn`t enough...
I just don`t get life insurance. Why would I want to give my family a financial incentive to kill me?
I want a man who loves me for my personality. Is it really to much to ask, I mean I do have several to pick from.