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I bet Waldo’s parents are worried sick.
Netflix doesn’t care if u showered or not
I regret nothing but mostly because I can`t remember most of the stuff I should probably regret
Hey! Did any of you see my........ Oh ! Never mind... :D How much of you said that before? heee heee hee!
I took out an ad for a girlfriend recently and 10 guys tried to give me theirs.
I really would like to take a yoga class. But I really can`t trust my farts.
If you have fewer than 25 FB friends. Please unfriend me because thats just embarassing and I dont want to be on your "loser" list.
Somebody told me I need adult supervision. I was like "I Know!" It would be awesome to be able to see through walls and shoot lasers out my eyes.
If I have to stir it, it’s homemade.
LOL` the biggest lie on the internet.
I listen to all of of the voices in my head...except the one named Reason. He makes NO sense to me.
If you still can read this, please inform me ASAP because I have probably blocked the wrong person!
Born free. Now, I’m expensive.
When you`re a kid, it makes you feel proud when someone says "Wow! You`ve gotten so big since the last time I saw you!" As an adult, not so much.
Mattel is launching a new Facebook Barbie. She looks like a stunning hot blonde on the package but is an old fat guy when you open the box.