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therapy is expensive...vodka is not. need I say more....
WARNING:: going to bed on Sunday will cause Monday.
I can walk up to any dog, rub its belly and make a friend ... That trick rarely works on people.
The problem is I have just enough money to get into trouble but not enough to make bail.
We spend so much money on buying different clothes... without realizing the best moments are spent without clothes
My favorite thing about naps is that I don`t have to talk to people during them
Summer: Hair gets lighter. Skin gets darker. Water gets warmer. Drinks get colder. Music gets louder. Nights get longer. Life gets better.
If opposites truly attract, the correct life strategy is to be a complete loser.
You know you`re old when you come close to shaving your nipple off while trying to shave your legs!
I’m tired of chasing my dreams, I`m just going to ask them where their going and meet them there later.
I can`t stand people who use song lyrics in their status` because they remind me of sombody that I used to know
ever notice that on a phone the word "mom" is 666?
is without a doubt, the most popular and best looking person using this laptop.
I just went dumpster diving.. and hit the mother load. Tons of dude gear and tools! It smelled of angry white woman.
How many days in a row do you have to wear the same clothes until you’re legally a cartoon?