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Nothing makes me want to leave a website more than a pop-up window saying, “Are you sure you want to leave this page?”
The problem with the rest of the world is that they are always 5 drinks behind.
I do not have commitment issues... I`ve been buying the same brand of vodka for 8 years!
We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they’ll dig the wrong way.
I’m always impressed when I can stump auto-correct...
When I was your age, we had to walk ten miles in the snow to get drunk and have s€x.
Guys...dont mess up and buy her the wrong brand of vacuum cleaner for Valentines Day this year. Spend a little extra for a really good one ... Just tring to help.
I need medical attention, but I will settle for just regular attention.
It`s only October 3rd and I`ve already beaten the sh!t out of two motion activated skeletons at store entrances.
I`m not the type of person you want to put on speaker during a phone conversation.
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
i just fell off a 20ft ladder.. good thing I was on the first step.
I really would love to see two mimes arguing
It should be a rule that if you dress up like a red hair clown , you get a free happy meal at McDonalds .....I`ll pay this time , but I`m not happy ... !!
I met a guy exactly like my father so I brought him home and my mom shot him.