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Got in touch with my inner self this morning. That`s the LAST time I buy single ply toilet paper.
Behind every man there is a woman wondering if going to jail for murder is as bad as it sounds.
The older the Facebook post, the creepier your “like” becomes.
Stop complaining about being single. We have bigger problems here. Like why McDonald’s doesn’t serve breakfast after 10:30.
I hate people that don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”. Their so stupid…….
Remember that there’s always someone cooler, smarter, stronger or sexier than you. That would be me.
Just quit my job so I can spend more quality time giving out candy crush extra lives.
about love
Not to brag, but my bathroom floor is so clean I can sleep on it. Apparently.
Slowly, Waldo`s wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together
Don`t let this historic Cubs World Series win distract you from the fact that Donkey never made Shrek those waffles he promised to make.
The only correct answer to the question are you sleeping is no.
I`m hungry, but I`m not `cook something` hungry.
I`m not perfect. But I am better than you.
Fitness? More like, fitness whole pizza in my mouth.