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A fun way to get exercise is grab a chainsaw and chase a hiker.
Ever have the experience of staring at an outfit hanging in your closet and wondering which of the personalities did the shopping that day?
I cant remember the last time i forgot something
Decided to make a life altering decision today.... When I think of it I`ll let you know
"You`re better than that" is almost never true
Do you ever wish you had a second chance to meet someone again for the first time?
A procrastinator`s work is never done...
Me asking if you want anything from Starbucks is my way of telling you I am going to be very, very late
likes beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate major events such as the my birthday or the fact that that it`s Monday.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “Theirs.”
I don`t mind being wrong, as long as nobody knows.
Screw it, just add another blade." -Gillette marketing concepts.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Something about summertime brings out the beer guzzling Homer Simpson in me.
Yesterday I saw something that reminded me of you. I almost stepped in it!