Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It only takes a second to show someone how you really feel about them... the cops call it indecent exposure, but whatever
No children were harmed in making this status. Ignored perhaps, but certainly not harmed…
Before we start this relationship, I am going to need you to explain a few pics in your Facebook albums.
If I was Neil Armstrong landing on the moon, "That`s one small step for man," would have been, "Screw you every girl who ever shot me down!"
The fox says you need to stop.
This morning I woke up to a surprise BJ. Thats the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open.
What about a To-Don`t List?
When a man says he`ll do anything for a woman, he means slaying dragons, killing zombies and rescuing her from castle towers. IT DOES NOT MEAN cleaning garage, fixing roof and cleaning out the basement!
Today`s Horoscope: You`re gullible
If you`re going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty
I think my other three stove burners are becoming jealous of front-right.
Drink coffee! ... Do stupid things faster with more energy.
I don`t care how loud I`m laughing, I`m having fun and you`re not.
Well, if you`re going to question my reputation and credentials as a gynecologist,I suggest you get the hell out of my office van.
I bet Eve bit that apple because she knew she was going to get a bunch of clothes out of it.