Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Instead of calling in sick, call in well. Tell them how great you feel not having to go to work today.
¦It’s time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.
How many facebook friends do you have that if they posted "I`m depressed and on the edge", your first thought would be to poke them?
I show my age when I`m in a club with all the 20 somethings.. Guess its because the last dance step I mastered was dancing like Gene Gene The Dancing Machine
"My name is Robert and I support apples." -- Bob for apples
We all have that one friend who always gives the best relationship advice , but is still single.
Don’t judge someone because they sin differently than you.
Social experiments where skinny people wear fat suits teach us to be nicer to fat people because it might be a skinny person in a fat suit.
Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? You were driving 80 miles an hour. Driver: "No way; I ain`t even been on the road an hour."
Which emoticon indicates the desire to cover someone with fire ants?
One way to know if someone is lying to you is if their facial mole is in a different place every time you see them
Jack and Jill Went up the hill To have a little fun. Jill, the dill, Forgot her pill, And now they have a son.
You’d be more impressed with me if you never met anyone else.
If you want to call a family meeting just turn off the wifi router and wait in the room in which it is located
Apparently telling the airline stewardess that airplane food is "da bomb dat hijacked my tastebuds" is not considered a compliment......