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You know you are getting old when you see girls from TEEN category moved to MATURE & MILFS.
Was building a website for women drivers ... Bloody thing kept crashing.
To drink, or not to drink?...what a stupid question!
I totally tricked this woman into sleeping with me. All I had to do was put a ring on her finger and live with her for the rest of my life.
I smoked weed once and realized spoons are just little bowls on sticks
I started seeing this girl recently. She sometimes texts. Sometimes Whatsapps. Sometimes she emails. Sometimes she Facebooks. Im getting mixed messages.
Bless me Father for I hit send.
Wife: Hi honey, did you miss me? Husband: With every bullet so far...
Two heads aren`t better than one if you`re both stupid.
Today is national I don`t feel like doing sh!t today. Celebrate accordingly.
The only hunger games i care about involve plastic hippos.
I`ll bet whoever said "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" had just farted
I just realized that I haven`t done the "Hockey Pokey" in over 10 years. I guess when you get older, you just forget what it`s all about.
If i had a dollar for everytime i was thinking about you, i would start thinking about you.
If you come up to my bedroom door and find a sock on the knob it means I`m having sex ... Probably with the other sock.