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real eyes realize real lies
Sometimes all you need, is 500 million dollars.
Look at the keyboard. It has `U` and `I` together. Look underneath that. It says `JK`.
It is only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you realise that there is always a way to solve problems without violence
I`m already getting into the Thanksgiving spirit, I`ve given the bird to lots of people today.
I`ll never forget what my dad said when I gave him the picture I drew and asked him to put on the refrigerator: "Wtf Dude, you`re 23."
I`m thankful for pizza and burgers... and ice cream and bacon and fries and... F*ck it, I`m thankful for food. I love you, food.
Capitalization can really change a sentence. Example: I love to eat candy ... I love to eat capitalization.
(Apocalyptic world) "Well guys......there goes our last female"
If someone says “you’re funny” instead of laughing, you’re not.
My hearing is fine. There`s no need to repeat yourself! I ignored you perfectly well the first time.
Holidays are a lot of fun until you realize you`ve been dating the ugly sister
Whoever said "What goes around, comes around", never passed around a bag of Doritos......................
Girl are you a University of Phoenix degree because I`m pursuing you online and from my couch
Write me your opinions on this extra soft paper and leave it next to my toilet.