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I`m allergic to stupidity ... which is why I break out in to sarcasm.
I get in this weird mood where I don`t want to talk to anybody and just want to be left alone. I call this mood `Awake`
I hate when a couple argues in public but I missed the start and don`t know whose side I`m on.
You know it`s a good night when you wake up with gum in your bellybutton.
Lazy Fact #69302246777573 - You were too lazy to read that number.
Ninja Mode is not a plausible excuse for not being seen at work.
Relationship status: Runs alone at night in hopes of being abducted.
Never trust a married guys opinion of who`s hot. It`s like asking a starving guy what food tastes good.
Wouldn`t it be awesome if MTV had a show called "16 and Applying to Colleges"
I`m growing a mullet to test our friendship.
MY 8 YEAR OLD: "Walrus testicles are called walnuts."
i m not totally useless, i can b used as bad example
Cars should come with two horns: one that’s like “Hey guys!” & another that’s like “I will end you!”
"Hey homie!" - How I greet my house whenever I arrive.
Rabbits jump & they live for 8 yrs. Dogs run & they live for 15 yrs. Turtles don’t do anything & they live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED!