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Is it just me or when you turn off the computer by holding down the power button, it feels like I’m choking it to death.
Dear therapist, I might actually come see you if your job title didn`t spell out “the rapist” Sincerely, not lying down.
Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings.. ;)
Do you think in the spirit world they have TV shows about trying to make contact with the living?
She asked me for time and distance. I guess she wants to calculate velocity.
Has marriage been on Mythbusters yet?
This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness....NO WE WON`T!!
I might not be "Smarter Than a 5th Grader", but I can buy booze! Booyah!
Sorry, but breaking up with you on facebook was the best way of letting all your friends know I`m available.
Surveys say 1 out of every 2 people suck at math. It`s terrible that 80% of the population can`t even do the easiest calculations.
The only stock options I have are chicken and beef.
I probably shouldn’t have driven home from the bar last night ... Especially as I walked there in the first place.
Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhh its a secret.
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes off 9 minutes of your life.. According to my calculations i should have died in 1732.
Women are like bacon: they look good, they smell good, they taste good, and they will slowly kill you