Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Haters are my motivators(:
Urban Dictionary has saved me from asking so many awkward questions.
Couldn`t stop thinking about that drought on the west coast while I was watering my driveway today.
If I rapped I would have to start doing way more stuff because only so many things rhyme with couch.
Does it count as saving someone`s life if you just refrain from killing them?
In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I`m right.
A procrastinator`s work is never done...
Make fun of George Bush all you want, but he would have found a way to bomb North Korea before they shut down Hollywood.
The recommended age to have a Ouija Board is 8+ years old. So, you need to be 21 years old to drink alcohol and 8 to summon the devil.
It`s all sh*ts and giggles till somebody giggles and sh*ts
I can`t wait to find my soul mate so I can start sleeping on the couch.
I`m not saying you`re stupid; you just have bad luck when it comes to thinking.
Neighbors at it again. I do NOT want to know the words to "Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus!
I`m not saying my ex wasn`t pretty, but every time my wallet got stolen the thief would return her picture.
Friday Night Inspirational Message: You miss 100% of the shots you don`t drink.